主文书写13岁时发生的事情可以吗？

例文和翻译在最后，想先读原文的可以直接跳过。

最近了解到好几个申请25FALL的学生，都在主文书的写作素材上犯难，有想写通过几个小故事体现自己最初看待事物完全是从经济学角度到认识到应该加入更多的人文关怀的，但初稿出来后发现落入了只讲话题不讲自己的陷阱；有想写辩论社社长的艰难成长经历，但写了五六千字的初稿被老师和朋友批成流水账，无奈放弃后又在考虑把戏剧兴趣和关爱弱势群体联系起来，表达自己对社会的关注和贡献。说实话，现在的我在看到这些话题时，激动时间不超过一秒。

除非看到学生坚定的目光，感到学生超强的意愿，我会建议换个话题，或者，换个切入角度。为什么？因为这些话题偏大了，很难在650字内写成好的申请主文书。

经验也告诉我，不少同学选择这些话题的初衷，并不准确是要展示真实的自己，他们潜意识里还是想通过体现自己的优秀来impress招生官。

这虽是人之常情，但注定会事倍功半。闲话少说。今天分享的这篇哈佛大学录取学生的主文书，有许多值得我们学习和借鉴的地方，特别是在话题选材上，值得我们深思。

首先，主文书主要写13岁时发生的事情，是很少见的。众所周知，申请者在文书中应该主要写近两年发生的事情，是因为这样有助于招生官了解当下的他们。如果主要写几年前发生的事情，甚至小时候的事情，则还要让招生官去推测判断申请者现在是什么样子，是有风险的。

那么，这篇主文书为什么成功呢？我想，一方面，申请是一个整体，文书也是一套，所以可以通过相互配合来弥补；另一方面，学生敢于冒这个险，恰好说明这对她非常重要，符合、也再次印证：文书没有定式，学生应该讲自己最想讲的东西。

其次，主文书题材选择，应该写小不写大。读读这篇例文，写且仅围绕帮助家庭买房这件事写，我认为，是必须点赞的。我们来简单分析一下：第一，独特的经历。

虽然不鼓励学生挖空心思寻找“新奇“的经历，但不能否认一点，如果写踢足球、弹钢琴、打辩论，要让招生官记住，则需要在设计和内容上花更多心思来弥补独特性上的天然劣势。第二，这亦是一种举重若轻的表现。

有没有发现，真正有实力的人都不讲正事？反而，越是实力差点儿的，越是纠结于怎么说服对方。回到那句话，申请是一个整体，学习能力和成绩摆在那里，课外活动和兴趣摆在那里，放轻松点儿，我们不要试图在每个地方都极力表现自己多么优秀。记住，判断权在招生官。第三，好写，好写多了。

小话题，又是自己的亲身经历，有感而发，很容易写出让人记住的内容和细节。反之，把自己绑架起来，逼自己按照自认为的成功逻辑写出impress自己的，然后天真的认为也一样会impress招生官的文书，是太多同学曾经或现在正在掉进的陷阱。

最后，也是很重要的，从小话题中反映自己的背景或折射自己的特质。学生写帮助自己家庭买房的经历，顺道讲了自己移民家庭的背景，以及多次搬家的经历。虽然没具体写，但招生官可以想象整个家庭在美国奋斗的8年中在经济积累和文化融入上遇到的困难和不易。

这样的经历一定也铸就了她的品质。另外，我非常喜欢倒数第二段的内容，学生借买房，展现了自己勇于承担家庭责任，沟通和学习了解经济术语的能力，以及最后用“我再也不会因为不能让朋友们一起过夜或不能和学校里的女孩们八卦谁的房间颜色最漂亮而感到尴尬”

拉回来提醒招生官：当然，我也是一个正常的teenager。

以下是例文和翻译：

I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

我坐在父母的床上，头靠在膝盖上哭泣。“你为什么要这样对我?你为什么要带我去看房子，然后又把它从我手里夺走?”我绝望地向上帝祈祷，意识到这是我最后的选择。

For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Kuçovë, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

多年来，我和我的家人从一个国家搬到另一个国家，希望有一个更好的未来。战争和缺乏学习机会等因素，让我的父母收拾行囊，开始了我们一家在世界各地的新旅程。我们艰难的旅程首先从阿尔巴尼亚的Kuçovë开始，然后是希腊的雅典，最后是马萨诸塞州的波士顿。在那些年里，虽然我们头上有一个屋顶，但我从来没有一个可以称之为“家”的地方。

That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States.

Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

那天晚上，我向上帝祈祷，我的思绪又回到了我点击删除电子邮件的那个晚上，但当我看到一份房屋清单时，我突然停了下来。那是2007年9月22日——整整8年前，我和家人搬到了美国。我立刻意识到，是命运把这栋房子带到我身边的。我记得第二天和父母一起参观那座黄色的房子，并爱上了它。然而，我也记得那个星期晚些时候我接到的令人心碎的电话，说主人选择了另一个家庭的报价。

A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “

The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

在我向上帝祈祷一周后，我放弃了我们买下那栋房子的任何希望。一天放学后，我打开我们一居室公寓的门，走到电话机前，却看到它闪烁着红灯。我点击PLAY，却意外地听到了房产中介的声音。“Eda !“她高兴地说。“和另一家的交易失败了——房子是你的了!”马上给我回电话，开始写合同。”有那么一会儿，我目瞪口呆地站在那里，脑子里不停地回放着这些话。这真的发生在我身上吗?我拥有一个房子的梦想终于实现了吗?

Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family.

Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.”

Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

整个11月，我每天放学后都马上赶回家打电话。虽然我父母的英语不够流利，无法与银行和房地产中介沟通，但我知道我不会让这个障碍阻碍我帮助家人买房的梦想。因此，与一个典型的13岁女孩的谈话不同，我的电话不涉及化妆、鞋子或男孩。相反，我的谈话是由术语组成的，比如“固定利率抵押贷款”、“预先批准”和“首付”。尽管如此，在经历了13年因住在一居室公寓而感到尴尬的生活后，我下定决心要帮助买房。我再也不会因为不能让朋友们一起过夜或不能和学校里的女孩们八卦谁的房间颜色最漂亮而感到尴尬。

I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.”

A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

在我生命的前十三年里，我一直无家可归。虽然我永远无法完全报答我父母的牺牲，但我至少可以帮他们找到一个家，他们可以称之为自己的家——那一年，我做到了。对我来说，家不仅仅是“四面墙和一个屋顶”。家是一个充满了来自家人的回忆和笑声的地方。无论我的未来走向何方，我知道，如果有时我感到孤独，我总会有一个黄色的家，里面有我的家人在等着我。