2023.09.16托福写作学术讨论真题范文

2023.09.16上午场｜托福学术讨论写作真题

审题分析：这道题不难。需要注意一点，题干中Dr. Achebe提到“on the whole”，所以回答中基本上不可能举个人例子了。

示范范文：

I can’t agree with Andrew, because the negative impacts of online shopping have been overstated. Indeed, many local shops are forced to close down. That’s only part of the picture, many shop owners have adjusted their operating patterns, opened their own online shops and started their e-commerce. No data could ever prove the unemployment rate of that specific group is higher than the national average level. Besides, the prosperity of online shopping actually stimulates express and delivery industry, which absorbs many low-grade laborers and enables them to make even more money than their white-collar peers. Online shopping creates new and effective channels for remote rural areas to promote and sell local specialty goods, surprisingly bring back new vigor and vitality to local economy, and even attract young people to return to hometown participating the building of better life. As for the decreased tax revenue problem Andrew mentioned, I think it is temporary, because the change of economic structures is still on-going, from an old equilibrium to a new one. As long as the economic growth rate is still positive, people’s incomes on the same trend, tax revenue will finally restore its increase.（192 words）

老萨自评：

一般情况下，我习惯不看那两个学生的回答，直接写自己的看法。这道题虽然简单，但我并没有什么特别具体（具体到可以描述细节）的例子，所以瞄了一眼Andrew的看法，随即决定化身“攻击型选手”，直接攻击Andrew的看法，至于Kelly的观点，写完才看的。

既然是攻击型选手，那就针对Andrew“逐条批驳”。先让步承认说，实体店确实有倒闭的，但实际上更多实体店主同时开了自己的在线店铺；然后说，在线购物刺激了快递行业的发展，吸收了大量劳动力而且赚得还不少；最后说，在线购物帮助了偏远农村地区的发展。总之，创造的比破坏的多，失业率并未因此上升，有啥好担心的。最末尾，强调说，税收减少只是暂时的，只要经济正增长，民众收入增加，税收迟早要恢复增长。这部分写得少，主要还是字数已经不少了，时间不太够。

总的来看，这段儿写得，还是以说理为主。稍微显得具体一些之处，快递行业和偏远农村地区，说理之中混杂着举例。举例之时，比较宽泛的例子，诸如某类人、某一行业、某类事情，相对比较好用。虽然不能提供非常清晰的细节，但写出来后，人的常识判断不会觉得你写的是编的。否则，一眼假，太伤分数了。