一般TOEFL 等考试,因为是语言考试,对于分析(analytical thinking)和思辨(critical thinking)的要求不高,所以一个段落写一个比较长的例子也是OK的。退一步讲,哪怕一个例子都没有,也是可以拿满分的。所以我们这里说的要一个段落写两个例子更多针对的是对于思辨能力有要求的写作,可以是GRE 的Issue,也可以是学校作业或论文。
简单解释下标题:
【一个段落】,首先说明一个段落一般展开的长度是限定在100--200 内的,这个是常见的essay 类文章的段落长度。另外因为是一个段落,说明整段的内容都是围绕一个观点来展开的。
【两个例子】,首先是例子,所以不能只是单纯的态度,是有细节的。而“两个”说明了内容的展开是更为丰富的,既然是两个,自然是重复度上不高的。
基于以上的论述,当一个段落写两个例子的时候,对于我们的语言能力和构思能力都是一个更高的要求,当然对应的分数回报也会更高些。
不过还是要继续强调下,TOEFL 等语言类考试一个例子足以,没有必要非得写两个;而且对于展开能力还不够的时候,比较难撑起来两个例子,可能结局只是单纯的写了两个观点,而非例子。
而当我们假设有能力写出两个例子的时候,一个两个例子的段落可以怎么展开呢?
来看下Economist 的一个cover story
The world economy’s shortage problem, Economist
原文讲的是目前全球经济供跟不上需的问题。然后解释了下形成这个问题的原因,以及解决的办法。
以下的第一个段落有一个总的理由是疫情的影响。接着讲了两个方面的影响:一个是对于供应链的影响 (后面加了两个例子);另一个是对于劳动力的影响(后加了一个例子)
段落#1 总字数 125 words
The immediate cause is covid-19. (主旨句)Some $10.4trn of global stimulus has unleashed a furious but lopsided rebound in which consumers are spending more on goods than normal, stretching global supply chains that have been starved of investment. (解释了一下疫情对于全球供应量的挑战) Demand for electronic goods has boomed during the pandemic but a shortage of the microchips inside them has struck industrial production in some exporting economies, such as Taiwan. (第一个例子,同样的颜色,说明是对于前面同内容观点的展开。比如观点说全球的经济刺激激活了消费力,后面例子对应的就是对于电子产品的需求增加。这里同时要强调下对于例子的要求:例子得是对于前句观点的呼应) The spread of the Delta variant has shut down clothing factories in parts of Asia. (第二个疫情影响例子:亚洲工厂关了)In the rich world migration is down, stimulus has filled bank accounts and not enough workers fancy shifting from out-of-favour jobs like selling sandwiches in cities to in-demand ones such as warehousing. (第二个疫情带来的影响:工人难寻)From Brooklyn to Brisbane, employers are in a mad scramble for extra hands. (针对工人难寻的例子)
段落#2 总字数 129 words
Yet the shortage economy is also the product of two deeper forces. (总的主旨句) First, decarbonisation(其中一个小点:减少碳排放). The switch from coal to renewable energy has left Europe, and especially Britain, vulnerable to a natural-gas supply panic that at one point this week had sent spot prices up by over 60%. A rising carbon price in the European Union’s emissions-trading scheme has made it hard to switch to other dirty forms of energy. (第一个例子讲欧洲)Swathes of China have faced power cuts as some of its provinces scramble to meet strict environmental targets. (第二个例子讲中国) High prices for shipping and tech components are now triggering increased capital expenditure to expand capacity. But when the world is trying to wean itself off dirty forms of energy, the incentive to make long-lived investments in the fossil-fuel industry is weak.
两个使用了两个例子的段落,可以看到整体的展开不会因此啰嗦,都是120来词。当然如果我们是考场上限时写的,很难做到这么精炼,那么稍微啰嗦点到200个字左右一段也是OK的。
另外可以看下例子和例子之间的过渡用的是什么:
段落#1 的两个例子
Demand for electronic goods has boomed during the pandemic but a shortage of the microchips inside them has struck industrial production in some exporting economies, such as Taiwan. The spread of the Delta variant has shut down clothing factories in parts of Asia.
段落#2 的两个例子
The switch from coal to renewable energy has left Europe, and especially Britain, vulnerable to a natural-gas supply panic that at one point this week had sent spot prices up by over 60%. A rising carbon price in the European Union’s emissions-trading scheme has made it hard to switch to other dirty forms of energy. Swathes of China have faced power cuts as some of its provinces scramble to meet strict environmental targets.
就是直接从第一个例子过渡到第二个例子就好,不用过渡词。因为两个例子之间的关系是比较紧密的,他们从功能上来说都是在证明前面的观点。
总结
用两个例子证明一个观点,细节的丰富度肯定会好很多,但是如果是闭卷的时候,受限于我们的知识沉淀,对于大多数的话题我们还是比较难做到马上想到多个例子的。
那么这篇文章的目的:
一来,是希望能够了解多个精炼的短例效果好于单个冗长的长例,所以在有条件时候,可以尝试着用下在一个段落里面写两个例子。
二来,一个段落两个例子也不是极高难度的动作,想用的话,也可以刻意的积累下。
最后,好的写手一定是好的读者。
所以保持阅读,保持书写。