美国顶尖名校录取优秀/满分文书范文及点评分享

美国院校申请必备材料：GPA（成绩单）、语言成绩（托福/雅思）、学术成绩（本科：SAT/ACT；研究生：GRE/GMAT）、文书。

GPA和语言成绩、平均成绩更加学术性，也不带个人色彩，文书就不同了，它存在个人发挥的空间，一份精彩的文书，在一定程度上会补齐你在标化成绩的短板，得到名校招生官的青睐，实现弯道超车，拿到心仪的offer。

美国各个大学在招生过程中，倾向于收到什么样的文书呢？

PS和SOP的区别

首先，我们需要区分PS和SOP的区别：Personal Statement （个人陈述），简称PS；Statement of Purpose（动机函），简称SOP。

在申请过程中，很多中介机构大多数情况下会将两者混为一谈。

其实，这两者可以理解为两种不同风格的文书，PS更注重申请人的个性化，比如成长经历、兴趣爱好，家庭情况，特长等；SOP中文可以翻译成目的函，突出申请人的学术能力。

以加州大学洛杉矶分校对SOP的要求：

首先，加州大学洛杉矶分校的SOP，不同专业有不同的字数要求，并且，学校官方还给出了非常规范的SOP书写模板。

◆ 你学习的目的是什么？

◆ 你为了学习该门课程都做了哪些准备？学到了哪些技能？最终得到了什么非常具体的结果？你在该领域有什么潜力？

◆ 有没有什么额外补充的信息能证明你具备完成该课程的能力？

◆ 为什么你认为UCLA的这门课程是你的最佳选择？

◆ 获得这个学位后，你的职业规划是什么？

而对PS的要求，加州大学是这样描述的：

■ 首先对于PS的文书长度限制在500字以内，使用1英寸边框和12磅字体。

■ 你曾经接受的教育、文化、经济或者社会经历，有没有哪些是能够让你在未来的领域中更加独特？

■ 在成长过程中有没有什么遇到过什么挫折？你是如何克服的？让你坚持下去的动力是什么？......

对比之下，PS的发挥空间明显更灵活，更加注重个人的个性化展示；有的学校为了筛选出心仪的候选人，还会出特定的话题，要求申请人围绕特定的话题展开分享一段的见解。

有的学校只要求学生提交其中一个，但有的学校则要求两个都提交。

SOP在撰写过程中的技巧就是套用官网的要求模板，按照学校的提问逐一回答。

关于PS的技巧，每所学校都说是为了展示学生的个性，那不同的院校会更倾向于招生什么样个人特质的申请人呢？投递材料前，做好攻略必不可缺！

美国热门申请院校ps倾向！

哈佛大学——开头很重要

每年申请季过后，哈佛大学都会在自己的校报网站上公布10篇左右的优秀文书，并在文末配上招生官的精辟点评。 校报上还会非常详细地标注该文书作者的背景，包括种族、性别、标化成绩、主要课外活动（科研、论文）、奖项等各项内容。

20年其中一篇

哈佛大学的招生官在点评中经常出现的一句是“申请人的文书开头......”可见，哈佛大学的招生官非常注重PS开头是否能吸引他们继续读下去。

上述文书对应点评

约翰霍普金斯大学——独到的价值观和见解

约翰霍普金斯大学的本科生招生页面中，专门设置了一个栏目——Essays That Worked ，栏目中专门收录了最近5年的优秀文书，JHU还非常细心地把这些文书分门别类，制作了目录；同时，这些文书也附带了招生官的点评。

2024届优秀文书展示页面：

https://apply.jhu.edu/essays-that-worked-2024/

Translating My Story Into Words

My eyes widen. “It’s all Greek to me,” I whisper under my breath. Sure enough, The Apology by Plato is in Greek.

My eyes dart across the page, looking for a word or phrase to grasp onto. Unable to find a familiar word, I take a deep breath. The Greek letters jumble into incoherent words and I am left to the mercy of an incomplete translation. I shake my head, unsure of what to do next. My eyes drag from one word to another, heavy with defeat. Upon the sixth word, however, they stop. My initial scan of the text left me negligent of a simple word meaning “number.” Passion overwhelms my senses. “Number” becomes the most important word of the clause, providing context to the adjacent words. I turn to the lexicon and search for words that fit into a coherent translation. With the last word, I feel satisfaction and pride. The whirlwind of emotions repeats: Confusion, passion, satisfaction. Before the bell rings, I finish translating 20 lines of The Apology.

I was fifteen when I successfully translated The Apology, and soon after, I fell in love with translation. Through translation, I learned the value of perseverance and hard work; it even helped me convey ideas in different mediums such as figure skating.

On a bright January morning, cold wind slapped against my face, chastising me for falling again. I stood up and brushed thin sheets of ice off of my knees. A shock of pain went through my body as I lightly touched a new bruise. I contemplated defeat. In the midst of choreographing my next program, I speculated the translation of music into skating. I yearned to convey every pitch and emotion in a visual performance, so I listened to Chopin once again and closed my eyes. Upon hearing the cadenza, I went back on the ice, picked up speed and turned my body. Leaping from the ground, I wrapped my arms around my torso and spun one, two, three times. My body descended and a sharp skid sounded the air. I smiled, waiting in anticipation for the next jump. That day, I translated every note into a jump until my body understood the music.

Translation has become my frame for viewing life and now I am using it to translate passion into activism.

In July 2018, part of my activism was conservation focused. Recognized as a Discovery Guide Leader, I was chosen to lead a Mugwort removal cleanup at Meadow Lake. The tedious logistical process of scheduling a time, obtaining a permit, and learning the proper removal process made July a strenuous month. Still seeking to translate my plan into action, I persevered with the importance of conservation in mind.

Finally, the day came. Twenty pairs of eyes watched me as I pointed out Mugwort along the shore. The hot sun hit my back as I pushed the shovel deeper in the soil. The ground released its hold on the plant and I picked it up by the stem. I walked throughout the shore and helped each person learn the proper removal technique. Together we were able to eliminate 4.2 pounds of Mugwort. I was proud of everyone and myself. I learned the benefits of conservation, translated that knowledge into a productive plan to remove an invasive species, and spread that knowledge by leading my eager group of volunteers.

Despite translating The Apology by Plato years ago, the lessons I learned from translation continue to thrive in my actions today. Just as I translated texts from Greek to English, I will convert more songs into programs, and I will change more plans into action. Although there are still many things in the world that are all Greek to me, I strive to learn and translate my knowledge into action that creates change.

对应文书点评：

JHU其中一篇优秀文书点评

JHU的文书以及点评相较于哈佛就非常轻松，招生官们在点评中会更着重点评申请人的创新能力、接受到的独到的价值观和见解、个人兴趣的发展。

埃默里大学——冒险精神&好奇心

埃默里大学每年8月，会在自己的招生博客Inside Emory Admission上分享5——6篇他们认为很有价值的申请文书，附带点评。

“D’oh!”
-Homer SimpsonI’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.

Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”“D’oh!”
-Homer SimpsonI’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”

对应点评：

埃默里大学优秀文书展示页面：https://blog.emoryadmission.com/?s=personal+statement

埃默里大学的招生官非常强调个人是否具有冒险精神和强烈的好奇心。

虽然文书的主要内容是考察申请人的特质，但不同的院校偏好不同个性的申请人，“投其所好”，就能利用文书中的内容，补齐自己在标化成绩的短板；但不论如何，语言成绩的门槛是不会降低的，暑假是用来集中备考的最佳时间段~