耶鲁小文书：Waitlisted

2022年12月出过一个叫做《Hardly Essay》的系列，包括七篇经Waitlist转正的主文书：

（1）Princeton的WL,韩裔女生的Art as Indentity文书。

（2）Harvard的WL，华裔女生的YouTube for Identity文书。

（3）Princeton的WL,华裔男生的Photogrophy Interest文书。

（4）MIT的WL,白人女生的Engaging Art with Science文书。

（5）UPenn的WL，白人女生的Teaching in Differences文书。

（6）Williams的WL，华裔女生的Thanking Parents from Daughter感人文书。

（7）Vandy的WL，白人女生的Perfectionist's Obstacle文书。

Hardly Essay的质量优良，但却不足以一举命中。有时候，学习Hardly Essays,比学习爆款文书还要重要，因为它们能为你指出那些你自己正在犯的错。

还是有读者提问，难道这些申请者拿到Waitlist的原因都是主文书吗？为什么系列里没见小文书呢？

这篇，就专门讲一套Waitlist的小文书，作为Hardly Essay系列的后续。先Waitlist，再被转正，再把文书原文Po出来，而且还是全套小文书的，这个概率很小。这篇的举例，确实很珍贵。

更珍贵的，是它们出自一位申请Yale的Mexican American Girl。她的名字叫Anna Reynoso, Yale'23。你可以在YouTube上找到她。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #1：

Academic Interest (100Words)

My fascination with astrophysics was sparked seven years ago by a YouTube video in which twelve-yea-old Jacob Barnett demonstrated his extensive knowledge of astrophysics. Immediately, I fell in love. No, not with Jacob—with astrophysics. At age of ten, I started researching dark energy and watching astronomy lectures online. After learning new concepts, I’d write equations and diagrams in a small blue notebook. My notes mostly contained variables and drawings of wormholes and looked like gibberish. It’s exhilarating that there’s always something new to discover. We might never learn all of the universe’s secrets—but I’ll never stop asking questions.

【评语】

十岁偶然、油管视频，这些作为专业兴趣的缘起，常见但可信。但这篇主要弱点在于后续的兴趣发展没有足够有趣真实的specific。比如，New Concepts可以换成supernova，equation可以直接写上 v=H0*D，或者用文字代表述：I’d ponder its half-light running away from me。

其实，她还可以写得更深一点。爱因斯坦说光速是宇宙的极限，那么根据Hubble’s Law，宇宙里的最远距离也是有极限的。爱因斯坦和哈珀到底谁正确？This the first question I want raise in Professor XXX class atYale. 这会让文中的天文学passion显得更真实！

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #2

Why Yale (125Words)

Yale focus on “and.” I’d obtain a degree in the subject I specifically love: astrophysics—even the Department of Astronomy‘s research in High Energy Astrophysics focuses on my specific interest: black holes. Through Yale’s Science, Technology and Research Scholars (STARS) program, I’d eagerly adsorb research experience and embrace a tight-knit STEM family. I’d purpose my passion for comedy! To laugh or not to laugh—that is The Viola Question. This comedy troupe’s focus on audience interaction propels my desire to join the VQ. I never want to give up any of my passions—and at Yale, I’d never have to.

【评语】

这篇Why Yale的“and”，落点很具体。这是好的。但后面的陈述就流俗了。所感兴趣的Black Hole和Comedy有什么联系没有。只有Yale允许两个毫无关联的专业合二为一，这种说法算是硬brag了。每个申请者都会多少说一两句的话，总显得干巴。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #3

Topic of Interest (250Words)

Forget Maleficent, Cruella de Vil, and Jafar. The supervillains in my story are called Yellow 6 and Blue 2. And my ultimate arch-nemesis? Red 40. Every week, when my mom and I buy groceries, she’ll ask me something like: “can we get these cookies?” I’ll mercilessly scan the ingredients list, disapprovingly shake my head at its sugar content, and regretfully state, like Simon Cowell, “it’s no from me.” My mom will jokingly ask, “what are we gonna eat—ever?” I dissect nutritional labels and conjure up articles about Preservatives-That-Shall-Not-Be-names in hopes of decoding the unnecessarily complex words that plague ingredients list. Rather than accepting the skimpy portions of information listed on packages, I feast on the buffet of information available online to discover the unknowns I seek to understand. Through extensive research, I’ve learned about potential carcinogens like Butylated Hydroxy Anisole (BHA). Countless other preservatives silently threaten families—and it’s infuriating how inaccessible this crucial information is. My fear of consuming potential deadly additives has proven to be powerful motivator. I’m terrified of losing my mom, who’s all I have in the world. Protecting my mom is my priority, so my passion for food is how I’m there for her. To defeat these villainous additives, the only superpower I need is the ability to spread awareness and ignite in others a sense of curiosity that motivates them to investigate what they consume. As long as I continue researching my enemies, my inner Sleeping Foodie will live happily ever after.

【评语】

这真是一篇好supp。看得出来Anna真的对食品成分很在意，因为字里行间含有她在这个领域里的知识。比如，BHA，Carcinogen，还有Yellow 6和Red 40这些代表事物成分的很有个性的名字。Anna本人更喜欢这里提到American Idol的Simon Cowell，但AO读者的感觉上，会更对她的食物知识印象突出。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #4

Community Contribution (250Words)

Every Sunday at 11 a.m., my heart breaks. As my mom and I drive Downtown towards the Cathedral, I spot clusters of people in ragged clothes sitting on the streets beside their belongings. They often hold signs conveying heartbreaking messages. Cathedral’s Mexican community—which has become an extension of our family—provides unconditional support for my project “Help the Homeless,” which helps provide food to those facing homelessness. Many people within this community are immigrants from low-income households. Although they have less than most, they try to give back more than others. Because my mom has always taught me to be selfless, I immensely admire their dedication to helping others. Whenever someone needs help, everyone unites to support them. My mom and I grieved with the Sunday School coordinator after a family member passed away. And we made soup for a teacher at Sunday School when she caught the flu. I firmly believe in the importance of small gestures. Kind actions make people feel recognized, loved, and empowered to pay forward the monumental difference they silently experienced. So, through small yet powerful actions, I aim to impact others. In return, my family at cathedral has helped me address an issue that breaks my heart by contributing to the “Help the Homeless” project. At Cathedral, I’m a sister and a niece to people I met four years ago. And I’m infinitely grateful to play a role in this community that I call family.

【评语】

这一篇所讲的，是典型的义工助贫活动。几乎所有的美国高中生都有类似经历。稍有不同的是，Help Homeless这项活动是Anna亲自发起的，合作方是本社区的教堂。社区内有很多homeless，这就侧面告诉了招生官，Anna是从一个落后的社区走出来的申请者。你们都知道这个信息在当前申请里的特殊价值。这让一个很普通的义举也显得更加有意义。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #5

Inspiration (250Characters)

Laughter is therapeutic—it can instill hope in those facing heartaches, illness, and war. Its power motivates me to impact others’ lives through comedy. I want to help the world heal through laughter.

【评语】

虽然用laugher来呼应了前面的专业兴趣，但是这一篇说出的是Aspiration，而不是Inspiration。很多同学分不清两者的区别。Aspiration是你渴望去做的事，Inspiration是一个新鲜和有创意的想法。下面那篇Course Teaching里，就有很好的inspiration。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #6

Invite Guest (250Characters)

I’d ask comedian and neuroscientist Mayim Bialik, “beyond shows like The Big Bang Theory, how can comedy and STEM intersect?” I’ve tried determining how to combine both passions—and I’d love her help.

【评语】

对于一篇250Character的Q&A，这篇应该说不错了。Bialik用得很具体。如果，前一篇有个Black Hole的段子，这一篇的Bialik就是一个更好的呼应了。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #7

Course Teaching (250Characters)

“Black Holes: Universal Delicacies.” And yes, we do eat gummy worms while dissecting wormholes, pasta while defining spaghettification, and microwave popcorn while analyzing Hawking radiation.

【评语】

把天文学概念和日常食物联系在一起的段子，有笑点，放在前面更好一些。这一篇应该把黑洞在科学角度上的精妙之处具体说说，不要让多年的黑洞passion显得浅显。

墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #8

Suitemate Experience (250Characters)

Photos of food fill my phone—when I ate 35 wings at Hooters and 10 tacos in Mexico—so I can later savor precious moments. I hope they’re eager to combine our quirky habits to create new traditions.

【评语】

上大学的人都知道，有一个吃货室友，那会是你大学四年的宝贵财富。AO不可能不懂这一点。这一篇，如果要改进，那就把自己的quirky habit写的具体点，比如在taco里加Cream Cheese（我临时想的，我也没这样吃过）。

综*合*评*价

这几篇Supp的内容看，Anna确实找准了一个耶鲁的强卖点，“and”(文理双修)。而且，她也把自己呈现成了一个很不错的天体物理和戏剧专业的double major candidate。文理双修的高材生是耶鲁特色。今年春假的访校中，我见过这么两例。一个是校导女孩Shira，数学加政治双学位。另一个是校导的舍友Juliana，英语文学和地质学双学位。这两位文理双修的女生，本质上还都是文科生。她们选择理科第二专业的原因也一样，都是因为在Freshman时，对普课教授的超级好感。

Anna这几篇Supp也有明显的弱项。作为一个喜欢表演的理科生，还是在文字表达上带有较明显的理科思维倾向。即，逻辑完整但情绪不足。除了前面讲到的一些地方缺少具体细节（specific）来引导和承载读者的情绪之外，她还喜欢用副词来表达情绪。

比如，在第三篇里的 “I’ll mercilessly scan the ingredients list, disapprovingly shake my head at its sugar content, and regretfully state, like Simon Cowell, ‘it’s no from me’”。

形容词和副词用以表达情绪，但它们是实词之外的辅助功能。能用名词和动词这样的实词直接带出情绪来的时候，给读者的情绪会更直接：I‘ll audit its ingredients, shake my head, and announce in a spirit of Simon Cowell, “it’s no from me”。

无论如何，Anna的WL在五月中还是被Yale转正了的。她的这几篇Supp，确实值得很多申请者学习。

我知道，你们还是会纠结于人家的墨裔背景可能产生的某种优势。但是，请注意，我们这里讲的是先被Waitlisted后Admitted，这个过程基本上与族裔无关。更重要的是，谁在WL中更讨“喜”罢了。