今天，给大家带来一个IELTS雅思大作文真题的原创范文。
题目：
In some countries, old people who retire from work spend money on themselves (e.g. holiday) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?
审题：
Type:Opinion观点类大作文 (我的观点：generally negative)
Body 1: elderly should enjoy themselves however should ensure there is an inheritance
Body 2: children may expect to be supported by parents/still parents have a duty to assist
Key words: rather than / development
- Model Answer 高分范文-
In some nations,the elderly usetheirretirement savingstoenjoy themselvesinstead ofensuringtheirchildren have an inheritance.In my opinion,whilesenior citizensshould pursue methods of enjoyment, the trend of only spending onthemselves withoutpassing ontheirwealth totheiroffspringisadeleterioustrend.
One of the main reasonscitedfor whyretireesshould spend onextravagances,such asholiday cruises andvacation homes,is thatthereis a beliefthatthe agedhave ‘served their time’ working, and thusdeservetheirretirementto be spent inpleasure.While thisisundoubtedlyreasonable, parents,whoarealsomost likely grandparents,shouldinsistthata sizeable portion oftheirassets and savings areinheritedbytheirchildren,and by proxy,theirgrandchildren.Thiscontinuation of wealth accumulationisthe primary methodused byfamily unitstosecurea successful andprosperous progeny,and to ensure thatafamily’s bloodlinecontinues toflourish.
It can also be argued that bypromising the younger generation an inheritance,theywill expectnot justa financial legacy, but alsohandoutsand mayeven expect thistype of support as adults.Despite this claim, however, thissituation is rare,since formost,itis clearonemustbecomefinancially independent.Nevertheless, in order tomake life easier andless of a struggle, parentsshould stilldo their best to guarantee wealth ispassed down,and inmatters of great importance, such asbuying a house,they shouldhave the funds availabletoassisttheirchildren.In this way, parents canbetterenabletheir offspringto thrive, rather than justsurvive.
In conclusion, while thoseintheirgolden years should have every right toenjoythemselves, they should also ensure thatthe future generation is financiallysafeguarded,and soin my opinion,the phenomenon ofretireeslavishly spending ontheir owngratification without consideration fortheirchildren’s future lives is a negative development.
- Essay Analysis 范文解析 -
- (1) Introduction
Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question题目改述:
In some countries =In some nations
old people =the elderly
who retire from work spend money =use their retirement savings
spend money on themselves =use…savings to enjoy themselves
rather than =instead of
save money for their children =children have an inheritance
Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type essay观点类大作文高分句型：
- In some nations 在一些国家
- In my opinion, while 在我看来，
- is a deleterious trend 不好的趋势 (deleterious相当于harmful)
Words showing Cohesion (C&C)展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:
- their
- to
- instead of
- , while
- , the
- only
- themselves
- without
Vocabulary高分地道词汇和短语：
- retirement savings 退休储蓄；退休金
- inheritance 继承
- senior citizens 老年人
- offspring 后代
- deleterious 有害的
- (2) Body 1 -
Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：
- Elderly parents should be able to enjoy themselves, but should also ensure an inheritance for their children
Standard IELTS essay phrase雅思高频句型：
- One of the main reasons cited for why
Vocabulary and Collocations高分地道词汇和短语：
- cited 被认为是；引用
- retirees 退休人员
- extravagances 挥霍；奢侈
- holiday cruises 度假邮轮
- vacation homes 度假屋
- the aged 老人
- ‘served their time’ 工作了一生
- insist 坚持
- a sizeable portion of 很大一部分
- inherited by 由……继承
- andby proxy= through another way = the implication is = is an intermediary for
- continuation of 延续
- wealth accumulation 积累财富
- the primary method 主要方式
- family units 家族
- secure 保卫；保证；确保
- prosperous 繁荣的；兴旺的
- progeny 子孙；后代
- family’s bloodline 家族血脉
- to flourish 兴旺；昌盛
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- for why
- , such as
- , is that
- there
- that
- , and thus
- their
- to be spent in
- While this
- undoubtedly
- , who
- also
- , should
- by their
- , and by proxy,
- this
- used by
- to
- and
- , and to ensure that
- continues to
- (3) Body 2 -Aspects that must be referred to这段需要提到：
- Though some may argue that promising an inheritance may spoil the offspring, parents still have a duty to help support their progeny
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- It can also be argued that
Vocabulary and Collocations高分地道词汇和短语：
- a financial legacy 遗产
- handouts 捐赠；赠送品
- financially independent 经济独立
- less of a struggle 没那么煎熬
- passed down 传递；传下去
- in matters of great importance 很重要的事
- assist 协助
- enable 使能够
- to thrive 发展；兴盛
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- also
- that by
- , they
- not just…, but also
- even expect this
- Despite this claim, however, this
- , since for
- , it
- one
- become
- Nevertheless, in order to
- should still
- , and in matters of
- , such as
- , they should
- to
- Their
- In this way
- better
- , rather than just
- (4) Conclusion -
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- In conclusion,
- in my opinion
Vocabulary and Collocations高分地道词汇和短语：
- golden years 退休时期
- should have every right to 有权……
- safeguarded 保障
- the phenomenon of ……现象
- lavishly spending on 大手脚花钱；挥霍
- gratification 满足
- without consideration for 不考虑
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- while those
- their
- themselves
- they should also ensure that
- , and so
- their own
【竞赛报名/项目咨询请加微信：mollywei007】
