Holistic Review:
As an admission officer, I am impressed with Lily's dedication and perseverance in pursuing her passion for music. In addition, her essay shows a deep appreciation for the power of music and its transformative effect on individuals and communities. These traits make her an attractive candidate for UPenn, especially as a bio/pre-med major.
Lily's passion for music shines through in her essay. From her early interest in piano lessons to her determination to learn marching band technique, she demonstrates a deep commitment to the art form. More than that, however, she shows how music has been a source of joy and inspiration in her life. Her descriptions of the camaraderie and energy of the marching band are particularly moving, and they suggest that she has found a meaningful sense of belonging in this community.
Lily's emphasis on the importance of community underscores another critical strength. Her essay makes it clear that she values being part of a team and working collaboratively with others. It is an essential trait for success not only in music but also in the sciences. In particular, it is an asset in the medical field, where teamwork and communication are critical to providing quality care to patients. In addition, Lily's experience in the marching band suggests that she is well-suited to working with others toward a common goal.
At the same time, Lily's essay reveals her resilience in facing difficulty. Despite struggling with marching technique and feeling disappointed in herself, she did not give up on the band. Instead, she worked hard to improve, even practicing on her own time to perfect her technique. This persistence and determination will serve her well in college and her future career as a pre-med student.
Overall, Lily's essay provides a compelling portrait of a young woman with a passion for music, a willingness to work hard, and a commitment to the community. These qualities will undoubtedly make her a valuable member of our university, and we are lucky to have her as a part of our community.
整体回顾：
作为一名招生官，Lily在追求她对音乐的热情方面的奉献精神和毅力给我留下了深刻的印象。 此外，她的文章对音乐的力量及其对个人和社区的变革性影响深表赞赏。 这些特质使她成为 UPenn 的有吸引力的候选人，尤其是作为生物/医学预科专业。
Lily对音乐的热情在她的文章中体现得淋漓尽致。 从她早期对钢琴课的兴趣到她学习军乐队技巧的决心，她展示了对艺术形式的坚定承诺。 然而，不仅如此，她还展示了音乐如何成为她生活中快乐和灵感的源泉。 她对行进乐队的友情和活力的描述特别感人，这表明她在这个社区找到了有意义的归属感。
Lily 对社区重要性的强调强调了另一个关键优势。 她的文章清楚地表明，她重视成为团队的一员并与他人合作。 它不仅是在音乐领域而且在科学领域取得成功的基本特征。 特别是，它是医疗领域的一项资产，团队合作和沟通对于为患者提供优质护理至关重要。
此外，Lily在军乐队的经历表明她非常适合与他人一起为一个共同的目标而努力。
同时，Lily的作文展现了她面对困难时的韧性。 尽管在行进技巧上苦苦挣扎并且对自己感到失望，但她并没有放弃乐队。 相反，她努力提高，甚至利用自己的时间练习来完善自己的技术。 这种坚持和决心将对她在大学和她未来作为医学预科生的职业生涯大有裨益。
总的来说，Lily 的文章描绘了一位对音乐充满热情、愿意努力工作并致力于社区的年轻女性的令人信服的肖像。 这些品质无疑将使她成为我们大学的宝贵成员，我们很幸运能有她成为我们社区的一员。
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