雅思写作7分文章是怎样的？(以剑15Test 3 文章为例深度剖析)

雅思写作7分是很多考生心中的梦想分数，但根据大数据，写作能达到7分的同学很少。那么7分的文章到底是怎样的呢？‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

我在写作团给同学们简单概括过: 5分段的文章有许多错误，6分段的文章是正确的，7分段的文章要写的好。那么什么是好？

本文以剑15Test 3文章为例，从4个评分标准逐一分析。

题目：Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

官方发布的7分考生文章‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

评分项一: Task Response (TR)

1.1 addresses all parts of the task(中等难度)

此题审题上没有难点，考生不太可能在此项上失分。文章准确讨论了题目中的双方观点，全文围绕广告对人们购物的影响进行写作，没有偏题。并在结尾段给出一个折中形式的观点：一些广告是很成功的，但是一些不是。

1.2 presents a clear position throughout the response（中等难度）‍‍

文章立场清楚，前后一致，并无矛盾的地方。此项达标。

1.3 presents, extends, and supports main ideas. (难)

除非出现比较难的题目，1.1 和1.2 两项要求是大多数考生都能做到的，7分文章在TR上的难点主要是这个第三点。之前讲过，6分段在这一项的要求是：

relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear. 给出了切题的主要观点，但是未能充分或者清楚的展开。

在给出切题的观点基础上，7分段着重考查对观点的论证展开能力。下面是考生文章第二段节选。‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

Advertisements can act as a strong persuasion device to seemingly hypnotize people into buying goods and services. This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages, such as showing people having a good time together when using a particular product, using bandwagon, showing only the upsides of usage, and applying compare and contrast strategies to show the effects of using the product and make it stand out.

本段第一句话是一个路标功能，让读者知道本段讨论题目中的第一个观点: 广告能说服人们买商品和服务。This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages. 这句话属于main idea，后面对tactics进行举例展开。逻辑很简单，但给出了大量的细节，让内容非常充实。‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

我一直给写作团的同学强调，雅思写作并不是逻辑能力测试，在论证的时候专注论证的逻辑大方向就行。比如对考生给出的观点(This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages) 采用举例展开就明显优于采用因果推理的方式展开。另外一定要有细节思维，中国考生典型的假大空论述很难获得高分。

评分项二: Coherence and cohesion (CC)

2.1 logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout

2.2 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph2.3 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately2.1和2.2在之前的6分文章中就已经分析过了，此处不再重复。

今天主要说一下第三点，cohesive devices，主要包含三项: ‍‍‍‍‍‍2.3.1. transition signals (简单)

此项最容易达标，所有考生都会用过渡词。文中准确的使用了nevertheless, for instance, hence, a real life example, however.‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍2. Referencing by using pronouns (难)和 3. using susbtitution(难) 在6分文章分析中也提到过，在本文中也有较好的体现。 比如下面这句话：Advertisements can act as a strong persuasion device to seemingly hypnotize people into buying goods and services. This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages.This指代了前面的句子，the messages替换了前面的advertisements.关于coherence and cohesion，后面会在本公众号推出几期文章专门分析，希望大家到时关注，本文仅简单介绍。‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

评分项三: Lexical resources (LR)

3.1 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

3.2 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation还是以此段落为例‍‍‍‍Advertisements can act as a strong persuasion device to seemingly hypnotize people into buying goods and services. This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages, such as showing people having a good time together when using a particular product, using bandwagon, showing only the upsides of usage, and applying compare and contrast strategies to show the effects of using the product and make it stand out. 从range来讲，有不少亮点的词汇：hypnotize；tactics；bandwagon；strategies. 词汇的运用都很准确。从collocation来讲，使用了大量准确的搭配: a strong persuasion device; having a good time together; the upsides of usage; compare and contrast strategies‍‍‍‍‍所以，从两方面来讲，词汇都完全满足7分的要求。

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍评分项四: Grammatical range and accuracy (GRA)

4.1 uses a variety of complex structures

4.2 produces frequent error-free sentences从文章的任何一段都可以看出，考生的语法水平好，能写出各种各样的复杂句子，满足7分的要求。

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍This is so because of the tactics placed in the messages, such as showing people having a good time together when using a particular product, using bandwagon, showing only the upsides of usage, and applying compare and contrast strategies to show the effects of using the product and make it stand out. Even if people do not know it, these messages are repeated several times and soon it may brainwash people to finally go out and get the product. For instance, if a person is watching television and sees a certain advertisement of a snack many times, the repeated sight of the scrumptious food may result in that person feeling hungry and succumbing to the advertisement at last.

总结： 7分段的文章一言以蔽之，写的好。

TR方面：6分段的文章要完整回应题目，能给出准确的观点，但无法对观点进行充分的论证。7分段文章必须进行充分展开和论证。

CC方面: 6分段的文章能用段落结构组织文章(逻辑上可以有问题)，能写出一些过渡词加强文章的连贯性。7分段的文章对段落逻辑有更高要求，句子之间需要更多的指代和替换来加强连贯性

LR方面: 6分段的文章词汇刚好够用，能表达出写作者的意图。7分的文章需要更大的词汇量来体现词汇使用的灵活性，还需要准确的使用大量的搭配。

GRA方面: 6分段有一些复杂句，但文章同样有大量的简单句。7分的文章以复杂句为主。6分的文章在复杂句写作时，常出现语法错误，7分的文章则准确性更好。