在美本申请的过程中,文书撰写是学生向招生官展示自己、“推销”自己最直接的手段。但由于字数限制等原因,很多学生总觉得“无从下手”。
布朗大学前招生官、哥伦比亚大学招生助理Harry Bauld在知名著作《On Writing The College Application Essay》一书中曾表示:
“在美国大学招生官看来,99%的申请者都没有足够的亮点。
除非你拥有特殊身份,比如运动员、联邦指定的少数群体成员(比如印第安人)、对学校发展有巨大帮助的人(比如建了一座新体育馆)等,其他申请者都在一个灰色领域里等待被区分。”
那么,如何才能从这99%的人中脱颖而出呢?答案就是写出一篇好文书。
U.S. News公布了被美国大学录取的学生文书范例。招生办的工作人员也分享了这些文章,并表示这些文书之所以能脱颖而出,是因为它们让申请学生的形象发出了光芒,帮助学校更好地了解到这些学生。
展现你的个性和闪光点
“我们实际上是在倾听学生的声音,并试图搞清楚他们在我们校园里会成为什么样的角色。”Tufts University(塔夫茨大学)招生和招生管理主任Karen Richardson表示:“这不仅仅与学生选择写的主题有关,而是他们如何撰写。我们鼓励学生展示而不是讲述,以帮助招生官们了解他们是谁。”
“一篇好的文书对我而言,能让我在看到学生在申请表格中看不到的那一面。”Hamilton College(汉密尔顿学院)负责招生管理的副校长Monica Inzer表示,“对许多学生来说,可能因为他们的生活经验有限,所以找到自己的个性往往是一项挑战。另外,学生可能习惯按照高中老师的要求写作,而不是为自己。想找到自己的个性意味着学生必须了解自己,通过反思写作,与招生官员分享他们的生活感悟。”
在其招生页面上,Hamilton College(汉密尔顿学院)列出了该校录取学生撰写的多篇文书范例。尽管Inzer拒绝单独挑出一篇文章,但她表示这些文书体现了学生们不同的声音和个性。
在汉密尔顿学院的许可下,以下摘录文章是学生通过对飞钓(fly-fishing)的热爱来展现了自己的个性。
I kept a firm grip on the rainbow trout as I removed the lure from its lip. Then, my heart racing with excitement, I lowered the fish to the water and watched it flash away.
I remained hooked.
I caught that 10-inch fryling five years ago on Fall Creek using a $5 fly rod given to me by my neighbor Gil. The creek is spectacular as it cascades down the 150-foot drop of Ithaca Falls. Only 100-feet further, however, it runs past a decrepit gun factory and underneath a graffitied bridge before flowing adjacent to my high school and out to Cayuga Lake. Aside from the falls, the creek is largely overlooked. Nearly all of the high school students I know who cross that bridge daily do so with no thought of the creek below.
When I was a toddler, my moms say I used to point and ask, "What? What? What?" Even now my inquisitive nature is obvious. Unlike my friends, I had noticed people fly fishing in Fall Creek. Mesmerized by their graceful casts, I pestered Gil into teaching me. From that first thrilling encounter with a trout, I knew I needed to catch more. I had a new string of questions. I wanted to understand trout behavior, how to find them, and what they ate. There was research to do.
I devoted myself to fly fishing. I asked questions. I woke up at 4 a.m. to fish before school. I spent days not catching anything. Yet, I persisted. The Kid's Book of Fishing was replaced by Norman MacLean's A River Runs Through It. Soon Ernest Hemingway's essays found their place next to Trout Unlimitedmagazines by my bed.
I sought teachers. I continued to fish with Gil, and at his invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter. I enrolled in a fly-tying class.
There I met Ken, a soft-spoken molecular biologist, who taught me to start each fly I make by crimping the hook to reduce harm to fish, and Mike, a sarcastic Deadhead lawyer, who turns over rocks at all times of year to "match the hatch" and figure out which insects fish are eating. Thanks to my mentors, I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly, caddisfly, and stonefly.
The more I learned, the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants. My knowledge of mayflies and experience fishing in many New York streams led me to notice the lack of Blue-Winged Olive Mayflies in Fall Creek. I figured out why while discussing water quality in myAPBiology class; lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat. Now, I participate in stream clean-up days, have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish, and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waterways in my AP Environmental Science class.
Last year, on a frigid October morning, I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me. Banks, I later learned, is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction. When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques, aquatic insects, and fishing ethics. We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing. I know Banks would agree with Henry David Thoreau, who wrote "[Many men] lay so much stress on the fish which they catch or fail to catch, and on nothing else, as if there were nothing else to be caught."
Initially, my goal was to catch trout. What I landed was a passion. Thanks to that first morning on Fall Creek, I've found a calling that consumes my free time, compels me to teach fly fishing to others, and drives what I want to study in college.
I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams.
找到自己的声音并表达出来
“你可以把文书看作是大学申请的灵魂。虽然我们知道在高中期间搭建很强的申请材料需要学生多年的努力和奉献,但你可以决定如何表述,来串联你在学校教室、社团和社区的经历,来帮助招生官看到更立体的申请学生形象。” Johns Hopkins University(约翰霍普金斯大学)本科招生主任Ellen Kim说:“文书是让招生官理解你想还原的自己,招生委员会并不在乎你写什么,我们在乎的是你认为自己的经历中哪些部分非常重要,因为这能体现你的价值观。”
虽然Johns Hopkins University(约翰霍普金斯大学)的要求是学生尽可能给出更深入的答案,但也有其他学校看重简洁,要求学生简明扼要地写作。
Tufts University(塔夫茨大学)分享了一个250字以内的文书示例,这位学生以折纸开头,向读者展现了自己对科学的热爱。
Using a flimsy piece of printer paper, I remember folding my first paper crane. Reading instructions off a dusty origami book from my basement, my fingers fumbled with the paper, folding, unfolding, refolding, and possibly some frustration-induced crumpling. Nearly an hour later, with little creases scattered across its body and a misaligned beak, it was clear that origami wasn't a natural talent of mine.
Despite its deformities, there was an endearing quality to the bird I couldn't quite explain. After sixteen folds, it resembled the paper only in color and material. I would fold countless other designs, until my room was covered with creations from simple paper boats to intricate seven part lotus flowers.
The joy I found in origami lied in the fact that I had the freedom to invent anything; with each fold, creativity flowed through my fingers, converting curiosity of the potential of each fold into an irrepressible desire to create more. It is what motivated me to read about 2D kinematics to win a projectile motion challenge, and understand the chemistry behind qualitative analysis of cations for a lab.
Everything I could ever want to know and more is right at my fingertips. From the change in weight I feel in a moving elevator, to the chemical reactions that cause the plastic stars in my room to glow, science is a field that permeates every single aspect of life. I know my curiosity to understand the world around me nurtures my love for science.
Richardson表示这篇是个比较冒险的尝试,以折纸这个不寻常的开头吸引了招生官的注意。
“折纸不是一个申请文书常见的主题,不止于此,她向我们展示而不是说明她制作物品的过程总不如她所期望的那样。尽管如此,她还是继续努力。这有助于我们把她看作一个愿意在我们的校园里接受新体验的人。同样突出的是她表达观点的意象——我甚至能想象出地板上那些皱巴巴的纸,以及她的沮丧。最终,她将折纸的创作过程与自己的学术兴趣相连。”Richardson在一封电子邮件中写道。
在撰写大学申请文书时,无论是主文书还是附加文书途西建议学生遵循这些原则:找到你的声音,写下对你来说重要的话题,表达分享你的个性并认真校对。同学们在提交论文之前,可以先和熟悉自己的人分享。老师、朋友和父母都可以帮忙校对,但注意保持自己完整的声音(表达出来)。
最后总结一下,学生们没有必要刻意地追求文书的独特性。它是蕴含在我们个性和兴趣中的,本身就有的东西。我们需要做的,是把它找出来,挖掘它,坚持它,守护它。