哈佛大学录取学子Common文书拆解赏析（3）

作为全球顶尖名校，哈佛大学的校报《The Harvard Crimson》每年都会发布当年成功申请哈佛大学的优秀文书。这些新鲜出炉的文书，对于今后的申请学生都有极大的参考意义。

我们已经为大家拆解分享了Lauren和Sarika学生的文书，今天继续来赏析的是2024年哈佛大学录取的学生Billy的Common essay。

01原文”

As I rode up and down the gentle slopes of the Peabody skatepark, I watched my younger brother race down from the highest point on the halfpipe and fly past me at the speed of light. I wish I could do that, I thought, eyeing the enormous curve that towered over me. But I didn’t dare make my way up to the top. Instead, I stuck with the routine I was comfortable with, avoiding the steep inclines at all costs.

Each week during the summer before my fourth grade year, my brother and I would visit that same skatepark, and I would take my mini-BMX bike to the bottom of that monstrous ramp, ready to attack the giant. I started off low reaching only a quarter of the way up at first, too scared to go any higher. But each week, I gained more confidence and kept reaching greater heights. Halfway there, two-thirds, three quarters. Until finally, I mustered up enough courage to complete my final challenge.

With my brother’s shouts of joy ringing in my ears, it seemed as though the concrete mass was calling my name, drawing me closer and closer, until I couldn’t resist its pleading any further. I walked my bike up the stairs and approached the steep drop off. My hands started to sweat and my legs began to shake as I inched toward the edge, staring in the face of doom. Finally at the lip of the ramp, I paused briefly, took a deep breath, and moved forward just enough to send myself speeding downwards. I couldn’t contain my excitement as my, “Woooo!” echoed around the park. I had finally ridden down the tallest ramp!

Throughout my life I have enjoyed having a plan and being in control. When working in a group, I make sure that everyone knows exactly which aspect of the project they will complete. I organize all my homework in a planner so that I never miss a due date. Each night, I outline my schedule for the following day so that I know what meetings, sports events, and other activities I have to attend. When I visited New York City over the summer, I prepared a detailed itinerary to follow. Rarely is there a day when I don’t have a general idea of what I’m going to do, but sometimes my plan doesn’t correlate with how the day truly plays out.

Over the years, I have learned to adapt when situations take an unexpected turn, and, similar to that time at the skatepark, I have been able to step out of my comfort zone more often. It isn’t the end of the world when things don’t go exactly as planned; often times, sudden changes and new experiences make for a more enjoyable and interesting time. As much as I enjoy a strict itinerary, some of my best nights have begun by hopping in the car with my friends, picking a direction, and going wherever the wind takes us. As hard as I try to plan out my day, an unforeseen event is almost inevitable. Although this can bring about some stress, scrambling around to figure things out is not only an essential skill, but can be a fun challenge, too.

I can’t imagine a completely organized life without a little uncertainty. Unexpected circumstances are bound to occur, and making the most of them is one of my favorite parts of life. Regardless of how much I love having a plan, my flexibility and willingness to step out of my comfort zone is something I have and will always take pride in.

02译文”

当我在皮博迪滑板公园的缓坡上来回骑行时，我看到弟弟从半管的最高点飞驰而下，以光速从我身边掠过。我望着那高耸在我上方的巨大弯道，心想，我要是也能那样就好了。但我不敢爬到顶端。相反，我一直坚持我熟悉的路线，不惜一切代价避开陡峭的斜坡。

在我四年级前的那个夏天，每周我和弟弟都会去那个滑板公园。我会骑着我的小型 BMX 自行车来到那个巨大斜坡的底部，准备挑战这个“巨人”。一开始我只敢从低处开始，只爬到斜坡的四分之一处，因为太害怕而不敢再往上。但每周我都会更有信心，不断挑战更高的高度。爬到一半，三分之二，四分之三。直到最后，我鼓足勇气完成了最后的挑战。

弟弟喜悦的呼喊声在我耳边回响，那混凝土建筑似乎在呼唤我的名字，把我越拉越近，直到我再也无法抗拒它的召唤。我推着自行车走上台阶，来到陡峭的坡顶边缘。当我慢慢靠近边缘，直面厄运时，我的手开始出汗，腿也开始发抖。终于在斜坡边缘，我短暂地停顿了一下，深吸一口气，然后向前移动了一点，让自己飞速下滑。当我的“哇哦！”在公园回荡时，我无法抑制自己的兴奋。我终于从最高的斜坡上骑下来了！

在我的一生中，我喜欢有计划并掌控一切。在小组合作时，我会确保每个人都清楚自己要完成项目的哪个部分。我会在计划本上安排好所有作业，这样我就不会错过截止日期。每天晚上，我会列出第二天的日程安排，这样我就知道要参加哪些会议、体育赛事和其他活动。夏天去纽约市时，我准备了一份详细的行程安排。我很少有一天不知道自己要做什么，但有时我的计划和实际情况并不相符。

这些年来，我学会了在情况发生意外变化时适应，就像在滑板公园那次一样，我也能够更频繁地走出自己的舒适区。当事情没有完全按照计划进行时，这并不是世界末日；很多时候，突然的变化和新的经历会让时光更愉快、更有趣。尽管我很喜欢严格的行程安排，但我一些最美好的夜晚是从和朋友跳进车里，选一个方向，然后随风而行开始的。尽管我努力规划我的一天，但意外事件几乎是不可避免的。虽然这可能会带来一些压力，但匆忙应对去解决问题不仅是一项重要技能，也可以是一个有趣的挑战。

我无法想象一个完全有条理而没有一点不确定性的生活。意外情况必然会发生，而充分利用它们是我生活中最喜欢的部分之一。不管我多么喜欢有计划，我的灵活性以及走出舒适区的意愿是我一直以来并且将永远为之自豪的事情。

03赏析”

这篇common文书的主题是“面对挑战和不确定性时的成长与适应”。作者通过自己在滑板公园的经历，引出了自己对生活的规划和对突发事件的应对态度，体现了个人的成长和心态的转变。

文章结构清晰，分为三个部分：

01引入

作者描述了自己在滑板公园的初次体验，通过对比自己和弟弟的行为，展示了自己的恐惧和挑战。

02发展

详细叙述了自己如何逐步克服恐惧，最终成功挑战最高坡道的过程，这是文章的高潮部分。

03反思

将滑板公园的经历与自己的生活态度相联系，反思了自己对计划和控制的需求，以及如何学会适应不确定性。

文章内容充实，通过细腻的描写让读者能够感受到作者的情感变化。例如，“I wish I could do that, I thought, eyeing the enormous curve that towered over me.” 这句话表达了作者对挑战的渴望和对高度的恐惧。另外，作者在描述自己如何逐步克服恐惧时，用词准确，如“my hands started to sweat and my legs began to shake”，让读者能够身临其境地感受到作者的紧张和兴奋。

从文章整体来说，开头通过描述弟弟的勇敢和自己的犹豫，形成了鲜明对比，吸引了读者的注意。接着，作者通过每周的练习，逐步挑战更高难度的过程，展示了自己的成长和勇气。这个过程不仅展现了作者的决心和努力，也象征了生活中面对困难时的坚持和勇气。

在文章的后半部分，作者将滑板公园的经历与自己的生活态度相联系，提出了自己对计划和控制的看法。这种从具体经历到生活哲学的转变，使得文章的内涵更加丰富。作者通过自己的经历告诉我们，虽然计划和控制可以带来安全感，但是适应变化和接受挑战同样重要。

文章的结尾部分，作者总结了自己对不确定性的态度，表达了对未来的乐观和自信。这种积极向上的态度，使得文章充满了正能量，也给读者留下了深刻的印象。

总的来说，这篇文章通过一个具体的故事，展现了作者的个性和成长，同时也传达了对生活的深刻理解。文章结构清晰，逻辑严密，内容充实，是一篇非常优秀的个人陈述。